Power Cap

Power cap- existential handicapping

01 March 2008

Top five things horseplayers like

5 Tips-
Horseplayers like tips. They seek out and cherish backstretch whispers about a horse who is going to win due to some human interest event. Perhaps the trainers daughter is getting married this Saturday so the whole track has conspired to let his horse win and now is the time to get involved. People will tell you these things if they like you as you walk around the grandstand. Like many things that horseplayers like these tips are a win-win situation for the horseplyer. If the tip does not pan out they can always blame the idiot that gave them the tip for bad information, if it wins it is because they are a handicapping master.

4. winning- The horseplayer does like winning as it justifies a questionable allocation of massive amounts of time to watch animals run in a circle. Winning also provides balance to the wagering bankroll, extending its useful time and limits the post race complaining to only 80% of the time. It is safe to say without winning, horseplayers and horse racing itself could not exist. Usually every horseplayer can tell you a story of them placing some uninformed wager very early in their handicapping career that won for big money, that is the hook that brings many horseplayers into the horseracing community.

3. Jockey obsession
- Many horseplayers are obsessed with jockeys. They use the jockeys as their primary handicapping factor often using the various "this jocks on/that jocks off" moves as their foundation reason for placing a wager. When their horse wins it is because they are a handicapping Goliath with a huge IQ, however if they lose it is only because the jockey is a pinhead, 100% of the responsibility is assigned to the jockey for all loses. These people will often verbally abuse the jockeys, sometimes chasing them down a tunnel to let the jockey know how much he sucks with various four letter words. Jockey capping is a win win proposition as horseplayers always come out smelling like roses, win or lose. Smart if you win *&^*&ing jockey if you lose.

2. Who has got the juice?- Accusing trainers of juicing or drugging their horses to win is a favorite responsibility deferral technique of horseplayers. If a trainer is winning close to 30% a horseplayer will often say that trainer has the juice or is actively juicing his horses to win at such a high percentage. Never will a horseplayer acknowledge the hard work that goes into running a successful barn. Despite these grave accusations there is never any proof that any of these horses are being drugged. Perhaps because many horseplayers hardest day at work is assembling a trifecta part wheel the concept of hard work may be foreign to them. Once again accussing trainers of juicing is a good responsibility deferral technique as lost wagers can be written off as *&(*(*ing juicing trainer rather than dumb me.

1. Free stuff- this group of people is drawn to free stuff. In fact they seem to think that they deserve free everything from PP's, to track admission to giveaway hats and t-shirts. You will often hear them complaining that they are not getting free stuff and that they are entitled to free stuff. A frequent argument at racetracks and racing messageboards is that if track management cared about horseplayers they would give away more free stuff. Giveaway days can be a free stuff orgy with people leaving the track with armfuls of hats, clocks and chairs, often local children are employed as mules to help increase the free stuff payload. Track attendance will often triple on free stuff days.


Anonymous said...

What is this???

A blog for Idoits.

#6 count on losing money!!!

G. C. said...

The word is spelled "idiots". Spell it right next time you crawl out from the Woodwork.